Sex Scenes for Teens

When I first read this week's review book, Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan, several years ago, I realized something about it... it contained the first gay sex scene I had ever read. (Granted, I had only read a handful of sex scenes in the first place, most of them from the Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel.) So I wanted to address sex in teen books this week, because that's what I think of when I think of this book.

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You know what's awkward for teens? Talking about sex. (Okay, that can be awkward for any age group.) You know what's a little less awkward? Reading about sex.

Think about it... you're a teenager, figuring out the whole "sex thing" from your equally clueless friends, euphemistic media examples, your parents' stuttering and mumbling about how you should practice safe sex, and weirdly omissive sex ed classes that mumble about how you shouldn't have sex at all. How are you supposed to sort out what really happens after the camera pans away and you hear bedsprings squeaking in whatever R-rated movie you happened to sneak into? (And don't tell me that porn will explain it to you... maybe some of the mechanics, but I hope you know better than to believe that most porn is a realistic depiction of a healthy sex life.)

Even worse, try being an LGBT teen. Sure, in recent years, it has been easier to find sex ed classes or counselors or even just friends who know more about sex between two men or two women or what kind of surgery transsexuals undergo, or any of the billion questions spilling out of that can of worms. But I probably don't have to tell you that it's dangerous in some places to come out, and asking questions about those things will out you if you aren't already out. Even in places where it's more accepted, it can be scary or embarrassing or just something you don't feel like everyone around you needs to know about. There are as many different experiences with this as there are people.

So where's a confused teen to turn? As is often the answer... well-written YA fiction. I'm not saying a novel should be a stand-in for good sex ed classes or mortifying heart-to-hearts with parents. I'm just saying, it's not really your mom's place to give you pointers on what to do with your hands when you're caught up in the moment, and it would be pretty awkward (borderline illegal, probably) for your health teacher to demonstrate interesting positions you might enjoy. (Side note: John Cleese is totally an exception. Totally NSFW; not for polite company.)

The neat thing about a lot of popular YA books is that teens really identify with them. They see bits and pieces of themselves and their friends and their families in the characters, and bits and pieces of their lives in the events of the books. So when they're reading about a character having a first sexual experience, or a fiftieth, or a new type thereof, they know they aren't alone. They aren't the only ones in the world who think they don't know what they're doing, or want something they think they shouldn't, or whatever their hangup is, even though it seems for all the world that they're alone, because nobody talks about these things.

It can be difficult to write sex scenes for adults, but for the most part, adults tend to know what to do and what they like and what they're willing to explore when it comes to sex. Teens are totally new to the topic and are just starting to consider options and learn about themselves in relation to others in this way. Which is why sex scenes for teens have to be so incredibly well-written. (It also helps to find a balance of detail to help the reader and discretion to keep it from being banned for being pornography, but if John Green's Looking for Alaska can be banned for the same reason because of a passage that includes "We didn't have sex. We never got naked." you probably don't have much of a shot at not getting banned if your characters are doing the deed.

So, teens looking for good sex scenes that will talk you through some anecdotal examples, try these out:

Before I Die by Jenny Downham (A terminally ill girl has a bucket list, at the top of which is to have sex.)

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan - this week's review book! (A totally inexperienced gay boy sleeps with his boyfriend, who is considerably more experienced.)

Bringing Up the Bones by Lara Zeises (After her boyfriend dies, the protagonist sleeps with a stranger.)

The Difference Between You and Me by Madeleine George (A totally-out lesbian and a closeted one meet in secret every week to make out.)

Doing It by Melvin Burgess (A boy desperately wants to lose his virginity.)

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (Not a huge fan of his main characters, but the sex scene... not bad. Really honest and, I don't know... normal. No stars-in-your-eyes stuff.)

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson (Sorry to be a downer, but not all sex is consensual. The rape scene in this book is gut-wrenching enough to elicit the right emotional response, but not so much so that it's gratuitous. Having examples of rape is important in YA too, because non-experienced people might not even realize that what is happening to them is rape if they don't have solid, realistic examples to learn from.)

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer - No, seriously. (Really, I mean it. When Bella and Edward finally get down to business, it's not the worst sex scene I've ever read. Honestly. Just give it a shot. Really.)

So let the teens read sex scenes. You can't get an STD or get pregnant from a book, and it's one hell of a lot safer than letting them learn about sex by taking them to see 50 Shades of Grey in theaters.

What's your favorite book with a sex scene for teens? Let us know your recommendations!

Review Me Twice - Pearl Cove by Elizabeth Lowell

When I picked this book, I knew that it wasn't going to be a literary masterpiece (mainly because I'd read it before and knew what it entailed.)  And let me tell you: this book falls into all of the stereotypes of a romance novel.

Lowell makes it SEEM like her women are fierce and independent (and, ok, for a romance novel, most of them are) but they all seem to be at the mercy of their men.  They go to them for protection and fall almost instantly in love, unless they don't, and then they fall instantly in love but refuse to admit it.

Not to mention, there's copious amounts of sex.  I mean, normal human beings just don't have the kind of stamina that romance characters inevitably ALWAYS have.  The two characters can't seem to keep their hands off each other for five freakin' seconds, except, of course, during the three quarters fight.  You know, that "fight" that happens about three fourths of the way through the book, making you think that they will never be together because they could never repair ALL THE DIFFERENCES!!  

However, and this is a really big however, it IS a romance novel.  When I pick the book up, I'm not reading it for its literary value or because I think the plot is going to be wonderful or the characters incredibly complex.  I'm reading because, sometimes, I just want a book that's easy and laid back and requires no real effort on my part.  And, in terms of romance novels, Lowell puts an incredible amount of research into this one (and the others of this series.)  There is a monstrosity of information about pearl culturing and pearl trade and how to buy/sell/find/match/survive pearls.  You can tell that there was a lot of research on her part which, more often than not, doesn't happen in romance.

So, bottom line.  Great literary novel?  Not even close.  Pleasantly surprising fluff read?  Yes.

One of my coworkers saw this book sitting on my desk and was surprised that I read Elizabeth Lowell, because I'm not the romance novel type. I explained that, no, this one was for the blog, and I really didn't do the whole romance novel thing. She pointed out that at least Lowell isn't your typical romance novel, and I had to agree.

There's a real story going on in this book. There's a murder and intrigue and, as Cassy pointed out, actual research was done. (Granted, I didn't fact-check because I don't really like pearls and don't really care about them that much, though I do care very much about oysters, since I live right on top of the Chesapeake Bay and they're kind of a big deal around here.)

So if you like romance novels but you feel like you need something a little bit more substantial, try out this author. If you really hate romance novels, this still really isn't for you (unless you want to give them a shot but don't want to pick up something with Fabio and a sword on the cover).

Favorite Book With Sex in It

Such scandalous topics, today here on Review Me Twice!!  Really, with a romance novel being the book we review this week, the whole week is turning out a little risqué.  So today, we're telling you our favorite book where our characters get hot and heavy.

I actually like this entire series.  Auel just does an amazing job with describing the world that she's created and bringing these characters to life and showing us a world where things that are natural are celebrated (sex, for instance.  They're not much for monogamy in this series and even have entire festivals dedicated to having sex.)

The Mammoth Hunters is probably my favorite book of the series, though, because there's a lot more CONFLICT.  And she keeps you in suspense up until the very last moment.  And while, yes, there's sex in the book, it's not quite as prevalent as in the other books (like Valley of the Horses, for instance, where they have sex about every three pages.)  I also love that females are in charge in this series.  Men respect them and their culture worships a mother goddess, which is pretty much just awesome, but Auel still manages to show you how that can be taken too far (In The Plains of Passage, they come upon a man hating tribe that basically only reproduces because women sneak in to have sex with their men.)

It's wonderfully written, so amazingly researched and, oh yeah, there's a whole lot of sex in it. ;)

Actually, the first book I thought of for this favorites post was the Clan of the Cave Bear series, too... but in the interest of diversifying your experience here at Review Me Twice, I made a different selection: Boy Meets Boy, by David Levithan. We've talked about it before, but never really discussed the fact that it has a sex scene. It was - I'm pretty sure - the first one I had read with two young men in it, and after I read that chapter, I remember thinking, "That was just like reading any other sex scene I've read before. Cool." (Actually, it wasn't like all others, because there's a whole emotional turmoil thing going on that puts it all in a different light, but you know what I mean.)