Friday, February 6, 2015

Review Me Twice: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

I want to tell you guys really quick that Cassy got a little mad at me for picking this book. I had no idea she disliked it so much, so I'm going to go ahead and apologize for making her think about it again.

Then, I'd like to add my name to the list of people who dislike this book. It's not all that bad, I guess, but it's certainly not for me. I can't stand slogging through books where people talk like they're... characters in classic literature, I guess. Sure, I know the words; I have a great vocabulary. (Thanks, Mom, for reading with me throughout my childhood!) But it's a chore to read a conversation in a book like this.

Beyond the word choices, though, which I can easily chalk up to this being written in a different time, I just dislike these people. Every last one of them is either a spoiled brat, reacts to a normal situation in a ridiculously overblown way, or pushes their nose in where it doesn't belong. I thought I liked Nelly, the housekeeper who tells the story of most of the book, but when I realized her part in the story she's telling, I noticed that I don't really like her either.

So to sum this up: I don't like it, I'm sorry I made myself read it, and I'm sorry I made Cassy re-read it.

I hate this book.  I don't just kind of hate this book, I REALLY hate this book.  And this isn't just I read it this one time and if I give it another chance I might like it, no, this book and I have a long standing relationship of distaste.

I have read this book four times now, and I still can't stand it.  The first time I read it was in high school, then twice (IN THE SAME YEAR!) in college, and then once again now.  I'm reading this book I can't stand an awful lot.  In fact, I would probably say that this is my least favorite book of all time.

For one, everyone has the same freakin' name, and it took me three readings of the book to figure out which Catherine was which and which person was which and it was miserable and if I have to make a graph to figure out the characters of a book, you're doing it wrong.

What's more is that it's supposed to be the greatest love story of all time, such unrequited love!  But I hate Catherine the older.  She's whiny and manipulative and just a general jerk which, really, I think just makes her deserve Heathcliff who is an even BIGGER jerk and is like that nerd who never got over being bullied in high school and takes it out on everyone twenty years later.

Only he takes out on people who don't deserve it, which makes me hate him even more, and he never really redeems himself.  And since he's a little slime ball, he ends up turning all of the younger generation into spoiled, self-entitled brats I can't stand either!!

Really, the only person in the entire book who has ANY sort of redeeming qualities is Edgar Linton.  He married Catherine the older, was father to Catherine the younger, and doted on both of them like there was no tomorrow.  He was generally a forgiving man, as long as you gave him a reason to forgive.  Sure, he started out a little annoying and mean, but what teenager isn't?

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